the anointed cloth into the hamper
Anonymous said: You have a dick and its the nicest dick in the world

proof?

Anonymous said: Can I feel your biceps?

dont have any

Anonymous said: How big is your dick? asking for a friend

dont have one

struck by the “problematic” movement

struck by the “problematic” movement

Nick Jonas — Chains

feelin this

A song of fire and ice #parklife

A song of fire and ice #parklife

ANIMALS ESCAPED FROM ZOO! #parklife

ANIMALS ESCAPED FROM ZOO! #parklife

This packaging is fucking immaculate, and SPOILER there’s a surprise to be dug up at the end.

Anonymous said: You are doing really great I'm happy for you

Thanks.  I have a blister on my right ankle that I got from running 4 miles in new shoes on Monday, but I’m so athletically devoted that I pushed through the pain — the bleeding and the pus; the broken skin — to do 3.11 more yesterday and 2 today.  

Following the pattern, that would foretell 1 tomorrow and ZERO on Friday.  I find it helpful to give myself a foot massage with carrot, lime & pepper lotion every evening while waiting for whatever program I’ve downloaded to make its way over to the fucking Apple TV receiver.  :)

aheavenlyrush:

He said you’re really an ugly girl / But I like the way you play / And I died / But I thanked him / Can you believe that / Sick, sick, holding on to his picture / Dressing up every day

SO YOU CAN MAKE ME CUM; THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU JESUS

Tori Amos — Precious Things

dailyjdbieber:

justinbieber: Sunburnt and a mustache

lol.  Is the ‘mustache’ stubble or just really fine blonde hairs?  If so, how long are they?  I’m genuinely curious.  He has a bushier beard below the belly button.

dailyjdbieber:

justinbieber: Sunburnt and a mustache

lol.  Is the ‘mustache’ stubble or just really fine blonde hairs?  If so, how long are they?  I’m genuinely curious.  He has a bushier beard below the belly button.

whatbrodysaidtoday:

Temptation Waits - Garbage

I bought this sometime in the last couple years, because the title is so funny, but have never read it.
Though now, reading the opening, I may just have to add it to the poolside literature queue:

These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night … A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis.  When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses, one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.

I probably take a piss 3000 times a year, but that’s about it.

I bought this sometime in the last couple years, because the title is so funny, but have never read it.

Though now, reading the opening, I may just have to add it to the poolside literature queue:

These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night … A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis.  When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses, one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.

I probably take a piss 3000 times a year, but that’s about it.

Anonymous said: I want you to make me feel like I'm the only bottom in the world

Hmmm that reminds me…  What’s gonna happen to bottoms when humans, as the civilized species, evolve to have a more sanitary and discrete fecal excretion method, i.e. the anus ceases to exist?

themed by coryjohnny for tumblr